Sunshine

今天小白走了 明明我出门前你还好好的在舔自己 可是你就这样突然走了 出门前我都没有摸摸你再走 昨天帮你洗澡的时候你还对着我笑 对着我翻肚子 我帮你擦药的时候 还翻着肚子躺着睡觉给我弄 妈咪之前有说你几天前有吐 当时我以为你可能舔到我买的驱虫的颈圈 有点不适 才会吐 你也看起来精神好好的 有吃东西 所以我没有太放在心上 今天姐姐跟我说 妈咪说你放出去回来之后就突然不对劲 走来走去 又发抖 之后就吐白沫拉肚子 好像拉到肠从屁股出来的感觉 这些字眼 我只是看着 我都能想象你当时有多痛 我后悔自己没有因为你第一次吐而带你去看医生 也后悔自己没有提高警戒心 我不知道是不是颈圈的关系害死你的 可是我觉得 是有人毒死你的 如果你真的是被毒死的 我诅咒那个人下地狱不得好死！ 你一直很乖 以前觉得你小时候长得不可爱 可是你的性格真的真的很讨人喜欢 而且越看越可爱 我说什么你都很听话 只是我太后悔自己没有给你多一点爱 回家后你每次都是摇着尾巴 笑着迎接我 可是因为养在外面 我常常只是嘴巴上说说几句 却很少真的蹲下来摸摸你的头 你却每一次每一次还是很开心地迎接我 你怕打雷怕鞭炮声 每次一打雷还是放鞭炮 你就吓得直钻进我们家 可是因为养在外面 每次我们都硬生生把你推出去 然后你会在外面吓得瑟瑟发抖 我虽然偶尔会留在外面陪你 却不能时刻给你安全感 因为我还是得回到家里 一直说着要买个笼子给你 以后打雷下雨你有个角落可以躲 可是真的买了之后 货还没送到 你却死了 小白 对不起 我没有给你我全部的爱 这是我现在最最后悔的 小白 你要乖乖的 跟着天使走 你不痛了 你那么听话乖巧 一定可以上天堂的 那里会有很多友善的朋友 没有邪恶 没有痛苦 还有就是 妈咪爱你 你在另外一个世界要幸福快乐哦

A year later, I come back again Blog is not a good place to visit, for my opinion For me, it is a place which let users to spill out their emotions. It can be depression, sadness, anger, and even happiness! But I use it only when I feel down and small Last post was about my job This post is gonna be about my job again Lack of confidence is always my biggest problem I cant find a way that can actually help me get over it Even though I know, I know I'm not that bad but when I deal with someone who is better than me, the evils inside of me will then come out of nowhere and start gobbling up my courage I know no one can help me but just dont know what I can do to help myself maybe I'm just too scared to do things wrong, too concerned about what others think of me The biggest enemy is not others, is me. It's late now. Wish me sweet dreams Selyn_.

Time flies 1 month has passed again From 20th May until now Throwback to June 1 it was my first time going to Singapore by myself I felt a bit excited, nervous, and worried I went to there because of attending interview It's like you travel to other country alone Anyway s , it's really a good experience for me and it gives me the sense of achievement Even though it's just a short journey I'm still looking for job I've attended 4 interviews and declined 2 offers One offers me RM2600 (management trainee) another one offers me SGD 2000 (Admin Assistant) I turned down both offers BTW, I decided to look for admin jobs because majority of marketing jobs need possess own car and I don't have one I think no one give me pressure The only one giving me pressure is myself My sister keep telling me that don't simply pick a job The job you will do need to be the one you love, specialize in, or at least the one that is suitable and normal I'm...

Today is 520 In Chinese, it sounds like I love you (我爱你) There are 11 days left to  go  June ,  May  is gonna end soon too . Time passed   passes by quickly  than I think. I finished my study in Feb, attended my last exam paper in March, and then I started looking for job in April. 1 month  ago  had passed , I'm still unemployed My expected salary changed from $2200 to $2000, and then changed to "negotiable" lastly . Honestly, I don't really care about the salary. The thing that really matters to me is the job role. I'm looking for marketing and event-related job Sales and Marketing is different from each other . I'm not good at sales. I admit that I don't have such good communication skill and sales skill to be able to convince other people to buy my products. So I don't consider sales job at all . But I end up losing many job opportunities. On   In other aspects , a lot of marketing and event jobs prefer exp...

Today's post will be in English. Recently, I found a new way to learn English. It needs Blogger Why? Because I will want need to write a short essay (maybe? Or short diary, whatever.) about the new words or phrases I learned I came out up with this method because I feel myself that I always forget  those new vocab and phrases I learned So it turns out   I learned nothing I've been learning English for years If I'm not mistaken I started from 2015 Although I'd ever stopped it in half way   halfway (adv.) (n.) , I still insist on   and continue learning until now. Am   Have I improved ? Yes. Am   Have I improved much? I think no. Self-learning is tough. No others guide you, correct you. Even though there is mistake in your writing or conversation, you can't find it, just like this post. But I still enjoy learning English. It kinda likes your child. It grows up slowly, but you do see the changes. And years later, when you look bac...

去年这个时间 我还在实习 实习的这段时期 我很辛苦 工作上的事情是其中原因 最大的因素是 我的上司 但是我感恩自己的坚持 感恩我有机会先一步体会到社会的冷酷 感恩那段时间陪着我的家人和俊伟 其实那是个能学到很多东西的公司 不是大公司 它只是很小的公司 小到除了internship students 除了我上司 除了我上司的老公 再无其他人 不知道幸运还是倒霉 那时我的internship 第一个月还有个不同校的实习生 接下来两个月 我是自己熬过来的 那时的我 压力大到睡觉失眠 在家人面前哭 每一天都觉得度日如年 我为什么这样 因为只有我一个人 工作很多 上班天加班 周末也加班 这是其次 其实我想说的是 我的那位上司 我没有讨厌她 但我无法喜欢她 也许有人会说 谁会喜欢自己的上司啊 难道就只有你被上司骂得狗血淋头吗？ 身为一个领导 责骂下属属于平常事 如果针对工作上的事情 那是合情合理 我的那位上司 是人生攻击 或许我做的真的很差 我接受被骂 但是一个人的修养 是即便你是上司 也不能缺少的东西 而且是更应该拥有的东西 猪 笨 白痴 甚至去死 等等的攻击性话 她都说过 不只是人生攻击 水杯被她打翻过 我的手被她抓伤过 电话被她重重拍过（纯属她发泄行为） 纸张扫在我的脸上过 被她无理要求在办公室里跑步过（她说是要我“累”醒，让我知道辛苦了，我才会痛醒过来） 那时的我 反驳了 可是害怕不及格大于一切 我还是跑了 我是边哭边跑的 这些事情 我真的很难忘记 但我觉得我有些成长了 在这些事里 但我从没想过要感谢她 至少目前为止是 或许等我再长大些 我会宽容到能对那些她曾对我做过的事情抱有感谢之心 但现在 我想感谢的只有自己的坚持 家人和俊伟的支持 还有生命中遇到的安排 Selyn_.